What bored photographer came up with this idea?
I wish I could turn back the hands of time to the fateful day that I made the decision to spend our hard-earned money on a professional portrait of myself and my first born infant son, scantily clad & looking about as unnatural as a mother and child can look. I can safely say that given the knowledge I now possess, I would kindly forego the process and take a nap instead. What is my knowledge base about the Madonna Portrait, you might ask?
Well, for starters and most importantly, I didn’t factor in the three other infants that would have to pose with their aging, sleep deprived, post-partum mother over the next ten years. I also did not realize that the expensive prints would never be framed or displayed in my home – ever. For some bizarre reason, it never dawned on me that I would find these photos too intimate to display on my walls. I also forgot to account for the fact that very few women look at themselves in photos favorably, especially if they are dressed for bed.
My only salvation is that I knew myself well enough to recognize that the flowing, lacey gown provided by the photographer was in such opposition to my personality that I may very well spontaneously combust if I donned it. Therefore, I have worn the same pair of white, “man-style” Victoria’s Secret cotton pajamas with blue ribbed trim for each photo shoot. Each boy was dressed in a white bubble with matching blue trim (trust me, that was just lucky) & Arabella had on a simple white dress.
Now, why am I lamenting this decision tonight? Well, due to the fact that I refuse to slight my fourth child in any way, I have an appointment for this dreaded Madonna Portrait tomorrow. I will pay a babysitter to keep my other 3 children in an effort to prevent the extra expense of replacing broken studio equipment and make a valiant effort to squeeze my 9 month old little boy into the 6 month old outfit, which I have yet to try on him. I can say with much pride, however, that although I feel that I look about as camera-ready as Bridget Jones , I do indeed still fit into my photo Jammies.
I would post these pictures for you to see, but I’m pretty sure that would break some copyright law. I’m going to console myself by thinking that these priceless moments will be cherished one day and that will make up for their worthlessness today.
Anyway, wish me luck.